Trust the Science - Geezer Pontification
Team BACON Institute of Psychological Research Team BACON psychologists have completed an exhaustive study, based on accumulated data hacked from the private accounts of a multitude of unwitting subjects, which reveals the basis of a heretofore unexplained phenomenon. The results of this study have been submitted to a team of scientists who subjected it and its underlying data to a comprehensive analysis of the empirical and counterfeit statistics, in an effort to justify a flimsy theory long-held by a group of charismatic idiots. The results of this analysis and compilation of related suspicions have been subjected to a thorough peer-group review and have been certified as factual by the World Health Organization’s group of Orangutan Savants and employees of the Town of Tyrone’s Bovine Excrement Processing Facility. Recognized Phenomenon It is common knowledge that geriatric individuals tend to disseminate information - frequently unsolicited - to anyone polite enough to e...